Are we losing the art of a phone call?
We’ve never had more ways to reach each other. So why does it feel harder than ever to just talk?
We have never had more ways to get in touch at work. Email, Teams, WhatsApp, project portals, comments on a shared drawing set. On paper, communicating has never been easier.
So why does it so often feel harder?
If you lead a team, you’ve probably seen it. A message lands that doesn’t sit right. Ten minutes later there are three people around a screen, rewording a reply, softening a line, adding a “just checking in”, deleting it again. Half an hour gone, and the issue is no further along.
On the latest episode of the BE Inspired Podcast, Godfrey Frederick, founder of Tree of Knowledge and director at BSE, described walking into exactly that moment in his own office. His response was simple:
“We don’t do carefully worded emails. Just pick up the phone, have a conversation and I’d say 100% of the time it’s resolved in a three minute conversation.”
Godfrey Frederick, BSE
Most leaders in our industry would nod along. For many of us, picking up the phone is second nature. It’s how we built our careers. The more interesting question is whether the people coming up behind us are learning to do the same.
What gets lost in writing
Written messages strip out most of what helps us understand each other: tone, pace, a pause, a laugh. As Godfrey puts it, there’s “no sort of physicality to it”, so it can come across the wrong way. Put something in writing and the first thought on the other end is often, in his words, “I’m in a fight here.”
On a project, that matters. A slightly sharp email between an engineer and an architect, or a site query that reads like blame, can turn a small coordination issue into a standoff. Multiply that across dozens of live projects and you get friction, rework and stress that nobody planned for.
Why it feels harder than it used to
A few things are quietly nudging people towards the keyboard. Hybrid work means fewer chances to catch someone at their desk. Many people early in their careers grew up messaging first, so a phone call can feel more confronting, not less. Writing feels safer because it’s documented. And now AI can draft a polished reply in seconds, which makes the carefully worded email easier than ever.
None of that is bad on its own. Together, though, it can mean whole teams drift away from the very conversations that build trust. Godfrey said it plainly: “Sometimes I worry that people might hide behind a keyboard or a text.”
Learning by overhearing
So much of how we learned to handle a tricky call was never written down. We picked it up by being nearby: hearing a senior engineer settle a frustrated client, push back on a builder without burning the relationship, or say “leave it with me” and mean it. The words, the tone and the timing came almost by osmosis.
That’s harder to come by now that more of us work from home. Flexible work has real benefits, and this isn’t an argument for five days a week in the office. But if the people who most need to hear these conversations are rarely in the room with the people having them, something quietly goes missing. It’s a big part of why having graduates and early-career people in the office still matters, and why the all-day headphones are worth a second thought. Focus time is important, but so are those overheard moments.
How we can get better at this
The good news is that conversation is a skill, not a personality trait. It can be learned, and workplaces can make it much easier to learn.
Some of it is as simple as bringing people in: inviting a junior to sit in on a call, putting it on speaker (letting the other person know who’s in the room), then chatting afterwards about how it was approached and why. Some of it is making “talk, then confirm” the norm. Godfrey isn’t anti-email. He has the conversation first, then backs it up with a short email, so you get both the relationship and the record.
And some of it is training. We recently delivered communication and relationship training, and when we reflected on what people valued most, it wasn’t a model or a framework. It was the value of picking up the phone. Something so simple, and yet it was the takeaway that stuck.
That stayed with us. It suggests the gap usually isn’t knowledge. Most people already know a call is often better. What helps is the confidence, the practice and a workplace where it’s simply how things are done.
Conversations matter
Godfrey has spent more than two decades building relationships in property and construction, and helped grow a free networking night that now runs in 10 locations across Australia and New Zealand. His view, after all of it, fits in two words: “Conversations matter.”
For those of us leading teams, the phone call isn’t something we’ve lost. The real question is whether we’re passing it on. In an industry that runs on trust between consultants, builders and clients, it might be one of the most useful things we teach.
Listen to the full conversation with Godfrey Frederick on the BE Inspired Podcast, Industry Leaders EP25.
Related reading: Do our people want more than profit?
